Women love confidence, here’s how you can build yours.

Confidence is one of those things I just signals masculinity in a man. 

Women consistently read the most attractive feature in a man that has confidence and it’s for a good reason. 

Confidence generally stems from a place of competence, but what does it mean to be confident?  

It’s a signal that you actually know what you’re doing. 

Women can’t help but be attracted to confidence which is why it’s so important for men to develop these confident traits.

And the good news is that science has shown, not only is confidence sexy to women, but it can be trained in men.

It shows them a man they can see as a potential mate, a protector and provider. 

So here are 15 traits of a confident man. 

1. Confident men have purpose 

Confident men have a purpose. They don’t sit around and watch the world pass by they don’t stay indoors watching porn and playing video games. 

A confident man knows the value of his time and that, that time must have a purpose to better himself.  

Look at the men who are leaders in this world.

The CEOs or generals who are the movers and shakers the people pushing the world forward. 

And then when I go to the average big box store Mobile and look at the average beta male walking around your town. 

The men who succeed are driven to have an internal motivation and an internal purpose that pushes them too continuously be better. 

While the typical beta is too busy wasting their time on entertainment avoiding the work it takes to become great. 

When you give yourself purpose in life and when you set out real goals to achieve, your confidence will naturally start increasing with every step you get closer to one of those goals. 

Related: 15 ways a man can boost his confidence

2. Men must push themselves through pain 

Confident men know that pain isn’t something to be avoided, it’s not something to be feared. 

Pain is the sign that you’ve encountered something hard and that you need to adapt physically or mentally in order to overcome it. 

Navy SEALs go through a training called B.U.D.S. where they go through the hell weeks in which every single minute of every day something is putting their bodies under pain and trying to crush their spirit. 

It has an 85% attrition rate, and these are men who are already hardened warriors. 

And the reason for it is because once you put yourself in situations where it can’t get any harder, once you put yourself face-to-face against the worst stresses you can imagine there’s nothing that can stand in your way. 

The hard moments in your life are the moments where you need to lean into the pain. 

Those are the times more than any other, where we need to face that pain head on.

You’re going to need to let it flow over you so that you can push through it and come out on the other side a stronger man. 

Related: 13 stoic questions that will change your dating life

3. Learn to carry yourself with presence  

Think about the men who walk into a party and instantly own entire room. 

There’s nothing special about them they’re not a superhero, they’re not that gorgeous but what they do have is presence.  

The way you carry yourself in your body shows everybody sees you what kind of man you are. 

Standing tall and having good posture are the very first things people recognize when you walk in the room, and how you carry yourself tells everybody exactly what you think of yourself. 

In fact, studies compiled in the college textbook Leadership Today, published by Woodbury University, have shown that a man’s perceived level of self-confidence even effects how great of a leader he is.

And this is why posture is one of the very first things that attract a woman to a man. 

You can download a free printable HD version of the infographic here.

Related: 11 Reasons why women stay away from nice guys

4. It’s ok to be in silence 

Confident men are comfortable in silence because they’re comfortable with their own thoughts. 

Confident men don’t have to continuously share their thoughts because they know the real power of their thoughts and ideas comes from being shared at the right time. 

Think about it.

Telling a woman, she is beautiful is a powerful thing but telling it to her 100 times makes it worth very little. 

One of the most powerful things I ever learned from the series of confidence coaches during my political foray was “the power of the pause.”  

Think of telling a story and at its most emotional moment you pause to let it all sink in. It’s powerful because it allows our partner to take a moment and process what we have been doing or talking about.

This combined with a little active listening shows confidence by showing that you don’t have to simply express your ideas at every moment, but you can listen to somebody else and think and respond to their ideas. 

5. Confident men take action  

It shouldn’t be any surprise that confident men take action. 

Look at the big-name men who run our world from the Jeff Bezos’s, Elon Musk’s to the world, to presidents and leaders of countries. 

They all are men of action who get up and get moving and don’t let anything stop them.  

When you have confidence in yourself and your goals you take action to move towards them and with every step closer you get to those goals, your confidence builds more and more. 

This is why business leaders and men who’ve been in positions of authority walk in confidence no matter where they go and studies have show a huge correlation to a man’s confidence and his overall performance.

This is why when you see special forces vets, marine force recon guys, or ex-navy seals it doesn’t matter where they are, they carry themselves with their head high. 

They walk and stand in their own competence because they know where they’ve been and where they’re going, and everybody around them can see it for what it is. 

6. You must always seek to learn 

Confident men have the humility to know that they are at the end I’ll be all in life. 

That’s really the true difference between confidence and cockiness. 

Confident men know what they know but they also know that learning more at every opportunity is going to drive them to be better. 

Part of being confident is knowing the limits of your own abilities and when we open ourselves to learn, those limits get pushed further and further back. 

And a man who can stand strong on what he knows without being a know it all, is a very attractive thing to a woman. 

But a man who is a know it all is just the opposite, he’s almost repulsive towards women. 

Know-it-all types make others feel like they’re not good enough, and cocky men just come off as egotistical and immature. 

7. You have to be proactive to build a life worth living 

Confident men are proactive, part of having a strong level of confidence is having the wherewithal to look ahead at what possible things are coming your way. 

This is a masculine trait whereas being in that reactionary mindset when something happens, and you emotionally react to the situation is coming from a feminine mentality. 

Earlier we talked about goals and part of having goals is looking ahead and planning for both what we know and the unknowns that are coming. 

And we can take that goal-oriented mindset and start applying that towards the rest of our life. 

When you’re out on a date instead of asking your woman where she wants to go you should already have a plan. 

Women want men that can lead them, who can take charge of the situation and bring them somewhere amazing in life. 

And by simply being proactive and being able to put together a plan you sure that you are the man who can lead that you are capable of being the head of the household. 

8. Confident men don’t have to be heard 

We all know those guys who just can’t wait to speak, to get out whatever they have to say. 

They tend to be bad listeners in conversation because they’re too busy worrying about what they’re going to say next. 

Immediately these kinds of guys think they lead the show but really, they tend to just annoy everybody. 

And that’s because there is really power in silence. 

There’s power in a man doesn’t need to be heard at every moment of the day. 

When he can sit back and watch what is playing out and wait for the time that his words will make the most impact, that is where true leadership is born.  

And it has to do with stoicism. 

Stoicism is one of those masculine traits that people are genuinely attracted to. 

A stoic man doesn’t have to be the center of attention, because he knows that when he has something worth sharing, he will be. 

9. Perseverance can make up for many other flaws  

Men who lack the confidence in themselves to achieve their goals, quit and give up. 

But a confident man will persevere through whatever obstacles are in his path.

He learns from his failures, and in the end his goals will be achieved. 

Nothing builds confidence like being kicked to the ground and picking yourself back up. 

There’s a reason why special ops soldiers carry themselves differently than everyone else. 

It is because they’ve willingly put themselves through challenge after challenge and they have persevered. 

When you come against failures in your life, those are the times where you need to persevere more than any other. 

By pushing through your failures, you grow more than by succeeding. 

10. Confident men are comfortable alone 

Confident men don’t always need somebody around them helping to hold their hand through life. 

Men that have real self-confidence are comfortable being alone because of those times he can get done the hard work of reaching his next goal. 

It goes right back to being the center of attention at all times. 

And if you’re confident in your own worth as a man you don’t need other people constantly reaffirming that to you. 

Now I’m not saying confident men abandon their responsibilities or hide away in their own hobbies.

Instead, they don’t need to constantly seek attention from others.

11. Confident men don’t try to please everyone  

You’re not going to please everybody in life and confident men know this. 

Instead of trying to make sure everybody’s happy with them, confident men make sure they say what needs to be said. 

There are times to be a people pleaser, but in most cases what people need and want, is somebody who is genuine. 

And when you can stand on your own opinions or your own merits without worrying about what others are going to think of you, that shows the ultimate self-confidence. 

And you can say things that people aren’t going to agree with without being a jerk, especially in relationships. 

In fact, how you say things generally means more than what words you actually say. 

If your wife or girlfriend does something that you don’t like you have two options for how to talk to her about it. 

You can tell her honey I don’t want you doing X. 

Which is an order and people don’t usually like to follow orders or the men who get them. 

Or you can say honey I don’t like it when you do X because it makes me feel Y. 

This gets the same point across, but it’s an explanation that makes her understand the reasoning behind what you’re saying. 

Related: 11 reasons why women love masculine men

12. Confident men are kind 

Confident people tend to be kind and jerks tend to be people who lack confidence. 

Just think back to the school bullies, everybody knows the story that the biggest bully in school is generally the kid who’s got the worst life at home. 

But kindness is attractive.  

When a woman sees a genuine and kind man, she doesn’t see weakness instead she sees strength, she sees somebody who doesn’t need to put others down but can lift others up. 

If you need a confidence boost in your own life, research has actually shown that acts of kindness build self-esteem and boost self-confidence. 

13. Confident men know the importance of listening  

Just so you know and when I speak up a confident man knows how important it is to listen to other people. 

If you take the time to actually listen to what people are saying, you show them genuine interest which most people find attractive.  

We love being around people who show us interest because it gives us an emotional boost, but it also lifts up how we look at the other person. 

When you take the time and energy to listen to someone it uplifts how they look at you.  

We can build on this even more by doing what’s called active listening.  

If you can listen good enough to somebody is saying to actually reword what Dave just said back to them immediately signals to them that you understand what they’re talking about that you understand that. 

What’s more is that with women it shows that you can empathize with them, that you can understand what they’re feeling. 

And that immediately starts breaking down the emotional barriers between the two of you. 

Related: 15 most attractive hobbies a man can have

14. Never lose your cool 

Confident men know how to handle a stressful situation and that’s why they don’t lose their cool. 

It’s easy to get angry to snap at somebody who’s done something wrong or when things don’t go our way. 

But when you lose your cool, you’re showing everybody that you can’t handle the situation and that you’ve just been overwhelmed. 

And when your with a woman, losing control of your emotions can be one of those dating mistakes you can’t come back from.

Emotional breakdowns are the ultimate sign of somebody who lacks self-confidence. 

Researchers have found strong links between confidence and self-control.

It’s coming from letting your emotions take over instead of doing the masculine thing which is using your logic and reason to think about what the right course of action is to solve the situation. 

15. Confident men embrace their failure 

Great men aren’t defined by their failures. 

Instead, they use their failures as defining moments that make them stronger. 

Everybody fails to embrace your failure and use it as a point of growth that not only shows confidence in your own self, but it builds confidence within you. 

When you can fail and move on knowing that in the end you will succeed because you embrace that failure as a learning point, that’s when all these little obstacles in your life start adding to your momentum. 

Stand tall and smile 

Stand tall keep your head high and walk with a purpose and that everybody sees you for the confident man that you are. 

Even when you’re at your worst you need to hold yourself up. 

 If you walk like you’re proud of who you are, other people will see you as the greatest version of what you can be.