Here are the top 13 dating mistakes that you must avoid at all costs.

Dating can be fun, exciting, and rewarding, but it can also be challenging, frustrating, and disappointing.

Whether you are looking for a casual fling or a serious relationship, you want to make a good impression and avoid the dating mistakes that can ruin your chances of finding love.

Things can be especially awkward during the first few dates when you’re just getting to know each other and build rapport.

Here are the top 10 dating mistakes that you should avoid at all costs, and how to fix them if you have already made them.

1. Playing games while dating

Playing games is one of the most common dating mistakes that people make, and it can backfire in many ways.

The online dating gurus and YouTube coaches teach a lot of these ‘tactics’ to try and build attraction when in reality many of them go against dating etiquette and are just disingenuous.

For example, they might act cool and distant, pretend to be busy or unavailable, or manipulate the other person’s emotions.

However, playing games can also make you seem insecure, dishonest, or immature, and it can prevent you from forming a genuine connection with the other person.

Playing games can also lead to misunderstandings, confusion, and in reality they are a form of manipulation that breeds resentment.

How do you fix it? Be yourself and be honest.

Don’t try to hide your feelings or intentions, and don’t try to manipulate the other person’s feelings or actions.

If you are interested in someone, show it. If you are not interested in someone, say it. If you want something from someone, ask for it.

It’s as simple as that. If they are interested in you, there’s no need for any kind of game playing, just let them get to see and know you so the real attraction that becomes something more can build naturally.

Communication is the key to building trust and intimacy in any relationship.

Related: Dress to impress on your next first date, here’s how.

2. Talking too much about your ex

Talking too much about your ex is another one of these super common dating mistakes that can sabotage your chances of finding a new partner.

While it is normal and healthy to share some information about your past relationships, especially if they have shaped who you are today, you don’t want to dwell on them or compare them to your current date.

Talking too much about your ex can make you seem stuck in the past, bitter, or obsessed. It can also make your date feel insecure, jealous, or bored.

According to Dr. Kristie Kederian, “Oftentimes as a defense mechanism, we talk about the past or the future rather than revealing information about ourselves at the moment and staying present.”

Think about it for a moment, if you are with someone and they spend half your time talking about someone else, do they seem that interested or attracted to you?

And that’s how your date feels when you fixate on someone from your past.

What’s the solution? Focus on the present and the future.

Don’t bring up your ex unless it is relevant or necessary, and don’t go into too much detail or emotion.

If your date asks you about your ex, be honest but brief, and then change the subject. If you are still not over your ex, or if you have unresolved issues with them, it might be better to work on them in therapy before pursuing a new relationship.

3. Fantasizing too much about the future

We all fantasize about those people we are attracted to and that’s great.

However, it can become another one of the dating mistakes to avoid if we start to get to where we are building something in our heads that isn’t in reality.

While it is natural and exciting to imagine what your relationship could be like with someone you like, you don’t want to get ahead of yourself or create unrealistic expectations.

Fantasizing about the future can make you overlook the present reality, ignore the red flags, or pressure the other person into committing too soon.

It can also set you up for disappointment or heartbreak if things don’t work out as you hoped.

How do you solve it? Stay grounded in reality and enjoy the moment.

Don’t assume that you have found your soulmate or that you will live happily ever after with someone you barely know.

Take things slow and get to know the other person for who they are, not who you want them to be.

Don’t rush into making plans or promises that you might regret later. Let the relationship develop naturally and organically.

4. Being too picky can be a huge dating mistake

I know a lot of TikTok dating gurus and coaches talk about being super picky and somehow equating that to your value but being too picky is another common dating mistake that can prevent you from finding love.

While it is important to have some standards and preferences when looking for a partner, being to be too rigid or unrealistic can really hurt your dating life.

The truth is, being too picky can make you miss out on potential matches that could be compatible with you in other ways.

Being too picky can also make you seem arrogant, judgmental, or hard to please.

The solution: Be open-minded and flexible.

Don’t judge a book by its cover, or a person by their profile.

Give people a chance to show their personality and character before making a decision. Don’t focus on minor flaws or differences that don’t matter in the long run.

Look for qualities that are more important for a lasting relationship, such as compatibility, communication, respect, and trust.

5. Being too needy can push your partner away

Did you know research has shown that needy people tend to fall into needy and stressful relationships full of criticism?

Being too needy is another common dating mistake that can scare away potential partners.

While it is normal and healthy to want some attention and affection from someone you like, you don’t want to be too clingy or desperate.

Being too needy can make you seem insecure, dependent, or demanding. It can also make the other person feel suffocated, annoyed, or guilty.

How do you get over neediness? Be independent and confident.

Don’t rely on someone else to make you happy or validate your worth. Have your own life, interests, hobbies, friends, and goals. Don’t expect the other person to fulfill all your needs or wants.

Give them some space and respect their boundaries. Don’t text or call them too often, or ask them where they are or what they are doing all the time. Trust them and let them trust you.

6. Being too available kills desire

Being too available is another common dating mistake that is almost a subconscious thing like our body language on a date.

And it can drive away people who are great potential matches for you.

While it is good to be responsive and attentive to someone you like, you don’t want to be too eager or accommodating.

Being too available can make you seem boring, desperate, or needy. It can also make the other person take you for granted, lose interest, or feel smothered.

How do you make yourself less available? Be busy and interesting.

Don’t drop everything or cancel your plans for someone you barely know. Have your own schedule, priorities, and commitments. Don’t always be the one to initiate contact or make plans.

Let the other person chase you a little bit and show some effort. Don’t always say yes to everything they ask or suggest. Have some standards and boundaries.

7. Don’t think the relationship revolves around you

When we are in a relationship it’s easy to get caught up in the emotions, the whirlwind of joy and heart flutters and even the anxiety of trying to impress them.

And while that’s all going on in our heads it gets easier and easier to start to see the relationship only from our one side instead of as a 2-way street we are walking together.

Once you start down the path of it’s your relationship instead of both of yours, resentment starts to creep in.

Resentment from your partner as their needs go unmet and resentment towards your partner as they can’t live up to your wants.

So what’s the solution? Simply recognizing from the start that your relationship is a life being built by the both of you.

Recognize what your partner does for you, how they make you feel and why you’re with them in the first place. And then let them know.

Show them and tell them that you appreciate who they are and all the things they bring into your life.

8. Never lie or exaggerate

Lying or exaggerating, especially on a first date, is another mistake that can ruin your chances of ever finding love.

It’s tempting to embellish or hide some aspects of yourself to impress someone you like, but if they see you as dishonest or deceptive that’s it, chances are your done dating them.

Lying or exaggerating even about little things can make you seem insecure, untrustworthy, or manipulative.

It can also backfire when the truth does come out, which it inevitably will.

The solution: Just be honest and authentic.

Don’t lie about your age, height, weight, job, income, education, hobbies, or anything else that matters.

Don’t use fake or outdated photos, or photos that don’t look like you. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not, or someone you think the other person wants you to be. Be yourself and be proud of who you are.

9. Moving too fast can burn out the relationship

Ever feel like you had a relationship that start like a blaze, it burned bright and then faded away just as fast? Or maybe the person you were with ended up being something totally different?

Yea, moving too fast into a relationship tends to make us overlook things like red flags and incompatible personalities.

While it is exciting and exhilarating to feel a strong connection with someone you like, you don’t want to rush into things without getting to know them well enough.

But it’s not just about how the relationship moves, if you’re moving things along too fast it can make your partner feel stressed or anxious trying to keep up or like they are being pushed into something.

Things moving too fast for you? Take it slow and steady.

Don’t jump into bed, say I love you, or talk about marriage on the first date, or even the first few dates. It seems crazy but think of how your brain wanders during the first few weeks of dating.

Don’t introduce them to your family or friends too soon or assume that you are exclusive or committed without having a clear conversation about it because that’s a recipe for a broken heart.

Instead try to build a solid foundation of trust and intimacy before taking things to the next level.

10. Do you date multiple people at once?

How many people should you date at once? Do you put all your eggs in one basket or take some time like at a buffet sampling a bit of everyone?

Well, the answer is it depends. It depends on a lot of different things like what exactly you’re looking for from dating, your values, and if you are a man dating women or a woman dating men.

Sorry if you didn’t want to hear that but we look for different things from a partner and this is something that is absolutely looked at differently by men and women, so that’s how I’ll address it.

And just know that for this specific topic I’m talking once you are past the first several ‘getting to know each other’ dates and are officially romantically interested.

So what’s the solution here? It depends on who you are and what you’re looking for.

Ladies, you simply have to turn on a dating app and you are flooded with more men than you even know how to approach. It can seem overwhelming at times, how do you find Mr. Right if you don’t try them all to make sure you’re actually finding Mr. Right?

But research has shown that the more men you have romantic experience with, the less satisfying you rate your romantic relationships especially marriages.

Also, men and women don’t exist in the same dating world. Women are the gatekeepers to dating and sex while men are the gatekeepers to commitment and marriage.

So understanding that and the fact that men don’t get overwhelmed with matches, men are lucky to get a match ever let alone multiple is a key part of understanding where they are coming from in their preferences for women.

In fact in a study done researchers found a female profile received about 400 matches in an hour in a major metro area. Over the course of the entire study, they couldn’t even get 100 matches while using 100 different male profiles.

Also let’s just be honest, men are very territorial and take loyalty in terms of absolutes.

I don’t know a single man who would consider for a moment, building a relationship with a woman who dated other men while they were together beyond the very first few dates.

Once you are to a point where he sees you as a couple, you dating another guy means he is nothing to you which means your potential relationship is nothing to him.

Men, you don’t get matches and likely don’t have many options for women in your life. So, the natural feeling is that a man should date as many women as possible in hopes he might find one that likes him enough to settle.

A woman can find another date in 15 minutes on an app, you will be lucky to find on in a month and it’s that simple. The world isn’t fair or equal, get over it and become the kind of man they want.

And yes, men you need to be looking at the world through the lens of abundance and trying to get first dates with as many women as possible, until you’ve been seeing one past the first few dates.

And then the same things apply to both of you, your partner isn’t going to tolerate you exploring while they’re giving you their heart, and they shouldn’t.

11. Ignoring the red flags

How many times have you looked back at an ex and thought to yourself, “I knew he was a jerk back then, why did I stay for so long?”

Ignoring the red flags is like trying to lay out the foundation of your relationship on the edge of a crumbling cliff, eventually it’s all going to come crashing down.

While it is normal and understandable to want to see the best in someone you like, you don’t want to be blind or naive to the signs that they are not right for you.

Ignoring the red flags can make you waste your time, energy, and emotions on someone who doesn’t deserve them. It can also expose you to potential harm or abuse.

In fact, researchers have found that we do indeed see and register red flags in partners but consciously push them down in order to pursue the relationship.

How do you solve it? Be alert and aware of who your partner really is.

Don’t ignore or rationalize the red flags that indicate that someone is lying, cheating, controlling, abusive, disrespectful, irresponsible, immature, or incompatible with you.

Don’t make excuses for their bad behavior or try to change them. Don’t hope that they will improve or grow out of it.

Trust your gut and your instincts. If something feels off or wrong, it probably is.

12. Think someone will change

How many people do you know who are in relationships they hate, maybe even married to someone they can’t stand, simply because they keep hoping their partner will change?

I know a few right now in this situation and I know you do too.

We generally don’t change the core things about who we are unless we have an internal reason that drives us to change.

And the truth is that for many of us, our relationship isn’t enough to drive that change.

If you’re with someone who is toxic, if you’re in an unhealthy relationship and you’re hoping they will become the person you need and want, you may be wanting for something that’s never going to happen.

If you new boyfriend has some good boxes checked but just needs to change these few big negatives, you need to understand, he likely isn’t going to.

Not for you and not for your relationship.

If your girlfriend can’t get over a hangup of hers and focus on your relationship here and now, she likely won’t in the future either.

So how do we fix this dating mistake?

The solution is to recognize that if there are big negatives in your partner that need to change and aren’t that it’s ok for you to leave.

You deserve someone who will fulfill those needs and love you how you want and they deserve someone who will love them for who they are.

13. Giving up too soon

Giving up too soon is the worst of any dating mistakes you can make.

While it is important to be realistic and selective when looking for a partner, you don’t want to be pessimistic or cynical.

Giving up too soon can make you miss out on opportunities to meet new people, learn new things, have fun experiences, and find love. It can also make you bitter, lonely, or depressed.

To solve it you got to try every day to be optimistic and persistent.

Research has shown that optimists actually have longer, happier and healthier relationships.

So don’t let a few bad dates or rejections discourage you from trying again and don’t let fear of failure or rejection stop you from putting yourself out there.

You’re going to have negative thoughts and beliefs creep in but don’t let them limit your potential.

Keep an open mind and an open heart. Keep learning from your mistakes and improving yourself.

Keep searching for your match and never give up on love.

13 dating mistakes to avoid on the road to love

Dating can be hard, but it can also be rewarding if you avoid these common mistakes and follow these simple tips.

Remember that finding love is not a matter of luck or fate; it is a matter of choice and action.

You have the power and the responsibility to create your own happiness and success in dating and in life.

Avoid these simple dating mistakes and your love life will be easier, smoother, faster and much more satisfying.