Men, without asking yourself hard questions you’ll never find the hard answers.

Every man comes to points in their life where they need to take a hard look and ask themselves some stoic questions. to break through the barriers holding them back from having the life they want. 

If a man isn’t willing to ask himself, the tough questions about where is heading in life, he is never going to change his path to the place where he wants to be. 

And so below are 13 stoic questions that every man must ask himself, and if you do, they’ll change your life. 

1: who are you spending your time with? 

As man, we tend to be the average of the five other men, we consider our closest friends. 

Look at your own friend group where do you sit? 

When I got out of the army, I visited some old friends in my hometown. 

They were still in one’s mother’s house, still on the same sofa as the day I left. 

And they were still playing the same video game! 

There are going to be people in your life that the best thing you can do with used to cut them out. 

And when you come to those moments, you should do it as quickly and as gracefully as you can. 

Related: 15 ways a man can boost his confidence

2: Is this in my control? 

When things don’t go our way it’s easy for us as men to get angry, to get upset, and start wanting to fight to correct it. 

But the first thing we need to do is ask ourselves, is this even in our control? 

It is one of the principles of stoicism to be in control of yourself and your own emotions, but with those situations where you’re not in control, sometimes you have to simply adjust the way you’re living because you’re along for the ride until you do. 

Often in our relationships with women they’ll come to us to vent problems and we immediately going to fix it mowed trying to solve it for them.  

But if that’s not what they want, that’s not what they need.  

What they need and want to stoic man who can be a sounding board and just listen to the vent. 

Instead of trying to fix everything, we should change how we approach them and try to simply listen. 

Related: 15 stoic traits women love in men

3: what does your ideal day look like? 

Ask yourself, what does your ideal day in your ideal life look like? 

You should do this often because if you don’t have a game plan with set goals for your life, you’re like being on the ocean without any sails or any rudder to steer. 

Instead of being in control of your own life and in control of your own destiny, you’re simply riding the current of life wherever it blows you. 

But by laying out your dream life as a set of goals, you can begin building the path backwards to where you’re at now and from there you just have to follow the path and stay on it. 

Research has also shown that setting specific goals drives success.

Related: 11 reasons why women stay away from the nice guy

4: To be or to do? 

With most of the big situations that come up against us in life the first thing a stoic man needs to ask himself is, is this a situation in which I need to be or need to do? 

There are plenty of situations that require your action, and in those situations you must act.  

But there are also situations where you need to take a step back to observe and wait. 

Running headlong into something without a plan of action can cause even more trouble than whatever the original situation was. 

In my own work, I ran into a situation just this month where I jumped the gun and acted when I should’ve waited for somebody else. 

It allowed me to make a mistake that took a week to correct. 

Related: 15 most attractive hobbies a man can have

5: If I am not for me who is? 

If you do not stand for yourself, and your own life, who will? 

The truth is as a man, society will not lift you up and will not back you up. When you fall, society will keep moving and it will crush you into the ground if need be. 

So, one of the very first things, a stoic man must do is ask himself, if I am not for me, who is? 

You must be willing to act for yourself, and you must be willing to act selfishly at times or there will be people who drive right over you. 

A man must stand for his own life and build it into something great so that he can be a provider and protector to his family. 

And being the provider and protector is the most attractive thing a man can be to women. 

Related: Masculine traits women are attracted to in men

6: If I am only for me, who am I? 

If you only act when it benefits you, if you only reach out there, something that you can take what kind of man are you? 

Stoic men are kind and generous, and part of that is standing to help others. 

It doesn’t mean you have to devote your life to charity, but it doesn’t mean that you should do it yourself to something greater than yourself. 

7: What will I miss by being afraid? 

In every instance that you have a second thought about your actions, you need to ask yourself what will I miss by being afraid? 

This goes from making the leap and new career path to approaching the cute girl in the café. 

Yeah, approaching the girl is scary and she can reject you, but she could also say yes, and you could’ve just met the love of your life. 

A new career is risky, but it can also be that path that leads you to financial security and into a place where you get up every day happy and looking forward to going to work. 

Fear can impact us in huge ways if we let it. Anxiety can keep us from reaching for our goals.

Related: 15 ways a man can appear more confident with women

8: Am I doing my job? 

Every day you should ask yourself in mind doing my job? 

And this doesn’t necessarily mean where you work or where you’re employed. 

As a father, you must ask yourself, are you doing your job as a dad? 

Because if you’re slacking, your children are going to suffer. 

As a husband, you need to look at yourself in the mirror and ask, am I succeeding at my job? 

Because if you’re not, your wife is going to suffer and so will your marriage. 

As men we have multiple roles that we must fulfill and the first step in doing that is asking ourselves daily am I doing that role how I should be? 

Related: 11 reasons why women love masculine men

9: What is my most important thing? 

Ask yourself right now what is the most important thing in your life? 

Now, when you go to work tomorrow, ask yourself right as you walk into the office what is the most important thing today at work? 

When you get home, look at your relationship and your woman and ask what is the most important thing I can do here? 

If you start asking yourself, what is the most important thing you can do? You will forget about all of the crap that takes up your day. 

Instead, you’ll be hitting the exact points you need to hit to maximize every interaction in your day. 

When you come at your marriage, asking what is the most important? 

You’re not going to be holding resentment for some stupid little thing your wife didn’t get done. 

When you ask yourself at your job, what is the most important thing? You’re not going to have to worry about getting fired or laid off. 

Related: 15 confident traits women love in men

10: Who is this for? 

As a stoic man, you must ask yourself in every situation. Who is this for? 

Are you working for yourself or are you working so that someone else can get promoted? 

Are you working in your relationship to build it up or are you doing something for yourself that could end your relationship today? 

By simply asking yourself, who am I doing this for?  

You’ll have a clear line to the person you’re actually intending to help and with that you can step back and look at what is the best approach to take. 

11: Does this actually matter? 

We’re going to come up against hard situations in life, we’re going to hit those walls in our work that feel like they might topple and crush us. 

Our wives are going to make us angry and upset, and they’re going to nitpick things we do. 

The thing you need to do as a masculine and stoic man is ask yourself, does this actually matter? 

If your wife yells at you for leaving the toilet seat up, does that really matter? Is she upset with you as a man in life does it require you to get angry and defend yourself? 

Or is it a situation that you just need to sit there for a moment, let her speak and try to acknowledge her point of view? 

The little things that don’t matter in your life can be blown up huge obstacles or you can let them pass. 

12: Is this a use of time or waste of it? 

Every day you should be asking yourself, am I using my time or am I wasting it? 

Often times we never think about how little time we have on this earth, until we are forced to look at our own mortality. 

But the truth is you only have about 16 waking hours a day. 

And if you’re not using as much of them as you can to grow yourself, you may be wasting your time. 

We need leisure and entertainment. We need relaxation. 

But if you’re playing video games for four hours a day, you could have written a novel in just a few months. 

You can go to the bar every Friday and Saturday wondering why you can’t find an amazing woman, or you can start going to dance classes or into the gym where you’ll actually be able to meet amazing women. 

We don’t need to give up our leisure or our fun time, but we do need to check ourselves on our priorities. 

Related: 15 ways a man can embrace the stoic traits women love

13: Is this who I want to be? 

Every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep, you should look in the mirror and ask yourself, is this who I want to be? 

And you should ask it about a number of things. 

You can ask it one day about your career, next about your family and the next about your marriage. 

The point is when we start to ask ourselves this question and really start to look at ourselves objectively, we’ll start to see those sharp edges that need to be rounded, or those rounded spots that need to be sharpened once more. 

If we ask ourselves as husbands, is this the kind of man I want to be?  

You put yourself on a path to be a great husband that your woman can’t stand to be away from. 

If you go into your job asking yourself, is this who I want to be you will put yourself on the path to being in the place in your career that you truly want to be. 

Stand tall and take the hard route to greatness

As a man trying to live his best and trying to live masculine principles, we must be willing to ask ourselves hard questions. 

As a man, when we ask ourselves those hard questions, we will eventually get the hard answers that will lead us too somewhere amazing.