Embrace your inner stoic and become the kind of man she wants to find.

Becoming more stoic will make you more attractive to women because stoic men embody many traits women are naturally looking for in a partner.

Stoicism is a school of philosophy that teaches how to live a virtuous and happy life by aligning oneself with nature and reason.  

Stoics believe that the only thing that is truly good is virtue, and the only thing that is truly bad is vice.  

Everything else, such as health, wealth, pleasure, and pain, is indifferent and does not affect one’s happiness and are instead effects of our virtues or vices. 

Stoic philosophy believes that men can control our own thoughts and actions. 

But it also recognizes that we can’t control other people or external events, sometimes things just happen. 

And as men we should focus on those things that we can control and try to accept what we cannot. 

Stoicism has been practiced by some of our most influential historical figures, such as Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, and George Washington.  

These men led and changed the world because of the virtues they put above themselves. 

Even in modern psychology (my personal area of study in college) stoicism has inspired entire movements like cognitive behavioral therapy and rational emotive behavior therapies. 

Men, if you want to become more stoic and improve your well-being, here are 15 practical ways to apply stoic principles to your daily life. 

1. A man should know what he can control and what he cannot 

The first part of becoming more stoic is learning the difference between those things that are in our power and what are not. 

According to Epictetus, the only things in our power are our proairesis, which is our choices, opinions, wants and judgments, and our actions. 

Everything else in the world isn’t within our power, as the stoics call it. These are the external things that are influenced by things other than just you. 

Think of your relationships, and reputation. While you can influence them, you’re not the only influence on them. 

By recognizing those things out of our control, we can focus our energy on those things we can and improving ourselves. 

It’s also the first step in learning to let go of frustrations, anger, and anxiety about the things that aren’t up to us. 

For example, if you are stuck in traffic, you cannot control the traffic itself or the other drivers’ behavior.  

But you can control how you react to the situation.  

You can choose to be calm and patient instead of angry and impatient.  

You can also use the time to listen to a podcast or an audiobook instead of complaining or honking. 

Related: 15 ways a man can boost his confidence

2. To be more stoic, man should live according to nature 

Another key stoic principle is to live according to nature.  

This means living in harmony with the natural order of things and fulfilling your natural potential as a man. 

To live according to nature means to try to act rationally and virtuously in every situation.  

It also means to accept the natural course of events and not resist or complain about them, hence step 1 above.  

Living according to nature also means respecting other living beings and treating them with kindness and justice.  

For the stoics, all creatures are part of the universal community of nature and natural law. 

So, the stoics see man as a sort of steward for the world. Not in the environmental or legal way but in the emotional way.  

We should view life as something sacred, as having a higher essence. 

Related: 15 reasons why women love confident men

3. Man should practice the four cardinal virtues to become more stoic 

The core of stoic ethics is the four cardinal virtues: wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance.  

These virtues are universal, interdependent, and apply to every situation in life.  

A man cannot be wise without being just, or temperate. 

The same as a man cannot be truly just without being wise and courageous. 

To practice these virtues means to try to act in accordance with reason and nature in every circumstance.  

It also means to avoid their opposites: folly, injustice, cowardice, and intemperance.  

For example: 

• Practicing wisdom means to use your reason to judge what is good and bad for yourself and others. To learn from your experiences and to seek knowledge and truth. 

• To practice justice means to treat everyone fairly and impartially. To respect their rights and dignity; to fulfill your responsibilities. 
• To practice courage means to face difficulties and dangers with confidence and resilience and to stand up for what is right even if it is unpopular or risky. 
• To practice temperance means to control your desires and emotions. To act with discipline and to avoid overindulgence. 

Related: 15 reasons why women love stoic men

4. Use the dichotomy of control as a guide for action 

The dichotomy of control is a practical tool that helps us decide how to act in different situations based on what we can control and what we cannot.  

It’s really just two simple rules: 

• If something is in your power, do it if it is good and avoid it if it is bad. 
• If something is not in your power, accept it if it happens and do not wish for it if it does not happen. 

In the real world it looks like this, say you want a promotion at work.  

So, you do your best to perform well and impress the boss, because that’s in your control. 

But who they pick for the promotion isn’t so you shouldn’t waste time and energy over the outcome because that’s not in your control. 

Instead, you’re working to better yourself and hopefully a promotion will be an effect of that, but your betterment isn’t some kind of contract for the promotion. 

Related: 13 ways a man can appear more confident with women

5. Use negative visualization as a way of gratitude. 

Negative visualization is a mental exercise that involves imagining how things could be worse than they are now or how things could go wrong in the future.  

The purpose of this exercise is not to make us pessimistic or fearful but rather to make us appreciate what we have now.  

It also helps to prepare us for possible challenges ahead. 

As men we have a tendency to take the things, we have built up in our lives for granted. 

Taking a moment to visualize how things could be worse is a quick way to realize and recognize just how fortunate we really are. 

It also helps to reduce our attachment to external things which helps us become more content in life. 

By imagining how things could go wrong, we can also anticipate potential problems and plan ahead how to deal with them.  

This also reduces our anxiety about uncertain outcomes and can help us become more confident in facing issues in the future. 

A real-world example would be if you have a car, you can imagine how it would be like if you did not have one or if it broke down.  

This should make you appreciate your car more and take better care of it.  

It can also make you less upset if something happened to your car because you’ve already mentally dealt with that situation and have thought about ways to move ahead. 

Related: 15 most attractive hobbies a man can have

6. Use self-examination as a way of improvement 

Self-examination is another mental exercise that involves reflecting on your thoughts, feelings, actions, and outcomes at the end of each day.  

By reflecting on your thoughts, you can identify any irrational beliefs or cognitive distortions that may have affected your judgment or behavior.  

You can then challenge them with reason and replace them with more realistic ones. 

Once you’ve begun recognizing those kinds of thoughts and behaviors, you can start managing them better with techniques like breath work, and meditation. 

When a man reflects on his actions, he can evaluate whether they are aligned with his goals and values or influenced by external factors. 

And from there you can correct those that are being influenced from outside yourself. 

By reflecting on your outcomes, you can assess whether they were satisfactory or unsatisfactory or whether they were within your control.  

You can then express gratitude for any successes or opportunities and accept any failures as learning experiences. 

Related: These are the qualities of a high-value man that women can’t resist

7. Every man needs a positive role model 

Role models are people who exemplify the qualities and behaviors that we admire and aspire to emulate.  

It doesn’t matter if they are a historical figure or someone from modern times or even a fictional character. 

Using a role model as an inspiration gives a man the opportunity to learn from their examples and how they overcame challenges.  

Ask yourself how they: 

• lived according to their principles and values; 
• dealt with adversity and success; 

• contributed to society and humanity. 

You can also ask yourself what they would do or say in your situation and use their advice as a guide. 

If you had some moral problem and asked yourself what would Socrates do? 

Well, we know he was in pursuit of wisdom and virtue and had the courage to question authority or popular opinion. 

Related: 11 reasons why women stay away from nice guys

8. Use the view from above to gain perspective 

The view from above is another mental exercise that involves zooming out from your current situation and trying to see it from a broader perspective.  

By practicing the view from the above approach, you can realize that many of your problems aren’t really that big or bad. 

It also helps men to realize just how interconnected and interdependent our situations are on other people. 

If you’re coming up to some crazy deadline for work, try imagining the entire city or company and how little of a problem that actually is compared to the grand scheme of things. 

You can then ask yourself how important your problem is and how it will affect you in the long run. 

Related: 15 traits of a confident man that women love

9. Every stoic man should have a morning meditation routine 

Morning meditation is a practice that involves setting your intentions for the day. 

By using morning meditation, you can align yourself mentally with your goals and remind yourself of what matters most to you.  

You can also prepare yourself for any potential obstacles or temptations that may distract you or derail you from your path.  

If you have an important meeting or interview for a new job, you can visualize the entire thing. 

You can go over different questions or things they are likely going to discuss and ensure that you are totally prepared to give the best performance you can. 

You can also take this morning time to go over any criticisms or challenges you are likely to face in the day. 

By taking just a few minutes in the morning you can be mentally prepared for anything that may occur instead of acting in a reactionary mode throughout the day. 

Related: 11 reasons why women love masculine men

10. Use evening reflection as a way of evaluation in becoming more stoic 

Evening reflection is a practice that involves reviewing your thoughts, actions, and outcomes at the end of each day.  

The purpose of this practice isn’t to judge yourself or dwell on your mistakes but to learn from them and grow as a man. 

You can take a few minutes to evaluate your day and whether you were acting in a way that brings you towards your goals or away from them. 

You can also use this time to go over any achievements and make sure you understand what you did to earn them so you can double down in the future. 

And of course, while you’re going over those, it’s a great time to practice a little gratitude for the help or support you have received. 

But the main thing is to look for opportunities where you can improve yourself into being a better version of the man you are now. 

For example, if you had a productive and satisfying day, you can congratulate yourself for your efforts and results. You can also thank anyone who helped you or inspired you along the way. You can also think of ways to maintain or enhance your performance and well-being. 

If you had a challenging day, you could take a look at the things leading up to those challenges and maybe next time avoid them or turn them into opportunities.  

Related: 13 ways you can stop being the nice guy and get the girl

11. A man’s premeditation of evils is a way to resilience 

The premeditation of evils is a stoic practice that involves imagining the worst-case scenarios that could happen to you and how you would deal with them.  

The purpose of this practice is not to scare yourself or depress yourself but rather to strengthen your resilience and reduce your fear. 

Using the premeditation of evils principle, you can realize that nothing is certain, and a major change could happen at any time. 

It’s the basis for cops or soldiers going over combative drills and target practice.  

By mentally understanding those evils that could happen, we give ourselves a foundation to act on should any of them occur. 

It also helps us to overcome fear and anxiety by giving us more resources to be able to use in our heads to deal with it. 

As practice, you can imagine losing your job. The strain that would put on you and how you would get over that shock to find another. 

Ask yourself how likely this is to happen, and how much control do you have over it? 

And then ask, how would it matter in the long run of your life? 

Related: 13 stoic questions that will change your life

12. A man’s premeditation of benefits is a way to motivation 

The premeditation of benefits is a practice that involves imagining the best-case scenarios that could happen to you or your loved ones and how you would enjoy them. 

The purpose of this practice is not to fantasize or delude yourself but rather to motivate yourself into actually going after those dreams in earnest. 

By using the premeditation of benefits, you can realize that nothing is impossible or unattainable in life. 

By looking at the best things we can achieve, our ultimate goals, we can start building a path back to where we are now in life. 

And from there, it’s a matter of simply staying on the path until you’ve reached your goal. 

Premeditation of benefits is the best motivator for a man because it allows you to look at how those goals are totally dependent on your actions starting today. 

I had the goal of writing a book. For years it was just a goal and a dream. 

But once I started truly thinking about it, I took on questions like how long would it have to be, how much effort it would take to complete and how long? 

And from those realizations that the average person works on their first book for over 3 years and never finishes, I had a goal and a challenge. 

I had the info needed to set up an outline for it all and use that as a pathway to finishing it. 

And after 2 years of work and dedication, I’ve recently finished it. 

13. Use the premeditation of death as a way of appreciation 

The premeditation of death is a practice that involves remembering that you are mortal and that you could die at any moment. The purpose of this practice is not to be morbid or nihilistic but rather to appreciate life and live fully. 

The vast majority of young men have never actually thought about the fact that they will die. 

I was lucky enough to have had an experience that forced me to confront my own mortality, but most don’t get into a situation like that until it’s too late. 

But by using the stoic principle of premeditation of death, you realize just how fragile and precious life really is. 

By confronting the fact that you will die, and that it could happen sooner than later. 

You recognize that it’s a natural thing and that you shouldn’t have any kind of overwhelming fear of it. 

You also start to understand how our legacy goes on after our lives. 

This is tremendous for a man because it gives us the ultimate goal and motivation, which is our legacy. 

If you are taking life for granted or wasting time on trivial things, you can remind yourself that this could be your last day on earth and ask yourself how you would spend it if you knew for sure.  

Related: 11 masculine traits women love in men

14. Use the premeditation of exile as a way of detachment 

The premeditation of exile is a practice that involves imagining that you are leaving everything behind and going away forever.  

The purpose of this practice is to help detach yourself from external things and cultivate true inner freedom. 

By imagining losing everything we have built over our lives, we can realize that nothing belongs to us permanently and that anything could be taken. 

It’s a way of seeing that we don’t need anything outside of ourselves to be happy or fulfilled.  

Even if you lost everything you loved or valued, you still have not lost yourself. 

It’s a way of understanding that even the hardest of times are growth moments and opportunities. 

For example, if you are attached to your possessions, or your status, you can imagine how it would be like if you had to leave them all behind and start anew somewhere else.  

You can then ask yourself how much they really contribute to your happiness, and how much they matter in the long run. 

15. Use the premeditation of joy as a way of celebration 

A man must learn to celebrate those things in life that deserve celebration. 

When you or a loved one achieves a goal, it is a time to be happy and to let that happiness flow through you. 

Society often has a mistaken view that stoics are cold hearted and unemotional, however that’s almost the opposite of reality. 

Stoics are in control of their emotions. They feel them, they express them, and they use them to push further, but they do so properly and in a beneficial way. 

The premeditation of joy is a practice that involves imagining that everything goes well for you, and everyone is celebrating it with joy.  

The purpose of this practice isn’t to be naïve to the world but to learn to really express joy and to spread it to others. 

Think of when you ran into someone who was truly joyful.  

They spread that joy to you, didn’t they?  

It makes us feel good to be around happy people and when a man expresses those emotions, it lifts those around him as well. 

Related: 15 traits of stoic men that women love

Become more stoic, grow as a man 

Part of becoming a more stoic man is learning that your emotions, and behaviors are innately tied together. 

And that you can use those to push yourself further in greatness or recognize those things holding you back. 

It’s not about growing cold to the world or locking away your thoughts and feelings but expressing them in the fullest way to help yourself move or grow. 

Using these stoic principles can help you grow into the man you truly want to be and achieve the goals you only dreamed of before.