David discusses in a very blunt and honest way, just exactly how men view the women they date.
He picks apart the difference between a man viewing a woman as the kind of woman he wants to merry versus the kind he wants to have fun with.
Transcript:
So, how many of you are in situationships? Or friends with benefit situations, with a guy where you don’t know really are you together are you not?
He’s not ready to commit, or make no excuses whatever.
But you’re still with each other you’re still being intimate, you’re still going on dates and spending that time together and stuff.
And what are some things that turn you from being a woman he wants to build a true relationship with and build something real into a woman he just wants to use in a situationship because let’s be honest, if you’re in a situationship with a guy, you’re not in a situationship.
What you’re in is being used by him because he’s getting something that he wants from you, while not having to give anything for it.
Like commitment and having a realrelationship and building something real with you.
So, ladies if you want to stop being used and actually start looking for guys and finding guys and finding those situations where they want to build a relationship with you, stay tuned.
I’m going to talk about things that change you from being that and a guys mind and make him see you as what essentially the red pill Community what guys in general refer to to as recreational use only.
Because if you’re in a situation with him if you’re in a situationship, a friend’s with benefit situation, that’s all he views you as.
He doesn’t view you as the kind of woman who he wants to commit to.
He views you as the kind of woman he wants to use for an easy piece of meat.
Talking about your exis so number one.
Talking about your exes now, it doesn’t matter if you’re on a first date third date whenever fifth date talking about your ex is one of of those things that can be touch and go for a lot of people.
It can be something you just kind of run into accidentally or it can be something that doesn’t come up at all just because it doesn’t come up.
In which case that it’s not good, bad, it’s nothing.
It just didn’t come up but when the situation comes up where you do mention your ex’s, it can be something that either truly does make or break you in his eyes.
Because when it comes to guys there’s one thing that we’re always judging a women on.
It’s essentially their past relationships, their past experiences with exes and with other men, For Better or For Worse.
So, when you talk about your ex, if it comes up in normal passing, “hey do you like doing this or whatever” or “hey I did this yeah I me and an ex of mine, we did that a couple times.”
Normal situations normal people do normal things, to talk about it’s good, it doesn’t mean anything.
If you start getting in this situation where he starts seeing everything you guys talk about, or every story he says or every story you say, somehow relates to an ex of yours especially if it’s multiple different exes, he’s instantly going to start going from the mind set of ‘this is a lady who’s not only beautiful that I was attracted to, that I wanted to date.’
But he’s going to start looking at her as more of ‘this is a lady that is beautiful and attractive and maybe that’s all she has for me because obviously she’s got this problem with her exes.
Either A, the one actually can’t get over maybe she’s still in love with him, maybe she still has some kind of drama or trauma happening from him that she hasn’t gotten past, whatever.
If it’s multiple exes, quite honestly to most guys that comes across as not relationship material.
But guys are all too willing to keep you in that friends with benefits zone regardless of whether they see you as relationship material or not.
So ladies, use a little discernment, don’t lead in with your exes, don’t lead in with their stories about them.
If they come up comes up talk about it whatever, but know that that guy he doesn’t want to hear first off about all your exes and if he does he certainly doesn’t want to hear a laundry list of stories in which you are the continuous victim, or they were all bad, because in his eyes he’s just going to become the next one in that list of stories.
So, use that as a way to show things that you’ve done your experiences show that you actually have a life but don’t use that to show that you’re still somehow stuck or hung up on some guy in the past when he wants you to be looking at getting stuck and hung up on him. Okay?
So the next big thing is the idea of entertaining other men.
Now this can be something as simple as being on a first date trying to maybe make him a little jealous making eye contact or smiling with a guy or maybe a little wave to somebody you know or known in the past.
Or it can be a little deeper, as far as once you guys start to know each other you continuing to line up other first dates or trying to get out to know or talk with other men when in his eyes anytime that kind of thing rears its head he’s essentially going to say to himself “she’s obviously not that interested in me if she’s still got her eyes open for another guy, looking at what the next best thing is. I’m obviously not that best thing for her, why am I going to waste my time and energy trying to commit to her, trying to build something real with her? when especially if I’ve already been getting what I want from her physically?”
I can continue getting that, knowing that I don’t have to commit to her because she’s not the kind of woman I want to commit to because she’s made it clear that she’s not as interested in me as she could be in somebody else.
You see ladies guys, we’re jealous, we’re territorial and we take things like that as the ultimate disrespect so to speak.
To be so much that if my wife had ever done that, had gone out with another guy after we had been on a date, she wouldn’t be my wife right now.
If she had ever tried that making me jealous making me play games trying to chase her, flirting with another guy while we’re going out or dating, she wouldn’t be my wife right now.
That’s because any kind of guy whose dealing with selfworth has any amount of self-respect or selfworth or any kind of options in life knows that, that is the kind of situation that leads to heartache, heartbreak and potentially devastating trauma drama and economic consequences later.
They don’t want to deal with that and the easiest way you can alleviate any of those worries is by simply not giving into that.
If you’re wanting to get to know a guy, get to know him. If you see that he’s not worth it just cut it off and go schedule dates with another guy and get to know him.
But if you think you’re going to be one of these ladies with a roster of men who continuously goes on these first and second and third dates whatever with different guys, and that one of them is magically going to sit around and wait for you to select him over all the others, I’m sorry.
You’re wrong and if one of those guys does wait he’s certainly not going to be the kind of guy you want to be with permanently.
So, ladies instead of trying to make him jealous, instead of looking for the next best option, look at the guy you’re going to potentially go out with before hand see if he is or could be your next best option.
And then if he is, devote your energy to that to actually seeing what kind of thing that is, what kind of thing that becomes.
Devote yourself to seeing what a relationship with him actually becomes and instantly you’ll move from being ever thought of as situationship only, into only being thought of as somebody he wants to be with.
As somebody he wants to commit to because he sees you as somebody that could be truly committed to him, and truly committed to building something with him, and forsaking others while you’re with him.
It’s a simple power you got to change him completely one way or the other.
The next one is being too sexual too early, or too late see this is kind of a catch 22.
With this one with guys you see, if you just hit it off great with a guy he’s hot, he’s amazing, you got a connection the first date you end up sleeping with him, just because he’s your dream guy.
To him you have just showed him that you lead in relationships with your sexuality.
That you lead with men with your sexuality, and that the only value you have in that sexuality is whatever you guys have just done for the last few hours on a date.
That’s about it, that’s the value he’s going to have placed on your sexuality after that.
Which means you’ve instant relegated yourself from being somebody he sees as building something real with, to somebody he sees as using sexually because it’s an easy smash.
Why wouldn’t he?
And if it’s that easy for him statistically in his eyes he’s going to say it must be that easy for other guys too.
And if it’s that easy for anybody the no obviously she doesn’t value herself that much, why would I value her that much?
Ladies this sounds harsh but you guys need to hear the truth.
Guys when they think about women it’s harsh. We’re judging you.
If we’re going out with you, we’re looking at you as a possible relationship, we are judging you harshly and it is on a lot of things like this.
And a lot of times it is that clear cut in a lot of guys heads, because they turn on the manosphere they turn on all these red pill channels and all they hear is these inundation of reasons why all this stuff is the way it is, regardless of whether it’s true with you or not.
Infact, this might have just been the guy that’s so incredibly amazing that you felt something so deep with that you thought that would be building up something special on a first date, or second date.
When in reality he’s thinking this chick was easy that’s about it.
I’m sorry honey but that’s it. That’s how guys think a lot. Especially if they’re the kind of guy with options, who has options with women, who can get women easily.
And he if he gets a woman who gives it to him that easily then it just reinforces that idea even more.
Note: this article is a LifeLoveMarriage original and the video is made by our founder David N. Brace. If found on another site it has been plagiarized.
But if you wait until you actually have something built up some kind of real emotional connection before you be intimate with any guy, then that does the opposite.
That shows to him that you have a high value on yourself, that you have a high value on your own sexuality, and the intimacy that you can give to somebody.
That you have a high level of value on the relationships you want to have before simply allowing a man to conquer you like that.
Because ladies in a guy’s head, that’s what it is.
You’ve given up yourself to him in the most intimate way, he has taken, he has taken ownership of your body.
That’s how we think of it and if it’s too easy we’ll simply chalk it up as that as an easy game.
I’ll keep you on the side well, look for somebody who truly values building something real.
Ladies you deserve if you’re watching me, you deserve to hear the truth.
You deserve to have it not sugarcoated, you deserve to hear it just put bluntly.
Because a lot of this, a lot of guys out there we won’t tell you how we actually feel.
We’re going to sugarcoat everything and spin in some way that we’re going to think makes us look good in your eyes, rather than just telling you the simple facts of what you may be doing that’s killing your own chances with us, because we want to keep you in that situationship where it’s easy to smash.
All right the next is kind of being this hot and cold kind of I’m going to love bomb him, and then I’m going to pull back and make him chase kind of attitude.
You see guys, we don’t want to really have to chase you all that badly if you’re making us chase, if you’re pulling away from us, especially nowadays, chances are in our eyes that’s saying that she is not really that into us.
If she’s making us work so hard for any bit of attention is she really into me, or is she stringing me along, just being another guy in her friend zone?
Is she just going to keep me around as an orbiter kind of somebody to use for attention and good times, and fun when she’s really looking for somebody better to have a real relationship?
What guys want now, they want your passion, they want to feel your heart they want to feel your desire for him, and the more you give that to him, the more he feels that coming from you, the more he’s going to move you from being looked at as maybe just a situation ship, to being somebody he really wants to be with.
Because he’s going to feel as though you really want to be with him.
In fact I was just talking to a buddy of mine, uhhe’s an old Special Operations operator he now lives in Columbia married to a lady who met down there at Medine and we’re talking about why well there’s a huge x-pat community of guys down there that have married Latina ladies.
We were talking about why, what’s the big thing about this?
Because you see to us, a lot of like the passport bro movement and the first thing he started talking about wasn’t any kind of purity or culture or whatever.
He started talking about the passion that the Latina Ladies down there give to their men.
He started talking about that when he’s with his woman he feels her desire for him.
He never had a second guess, he never had to wonder does ‘she like me?’
He said she moved in a direction that showed him that she was always into him.
She’s never pulling away and trying to make him think ‘do I really have her? is she really mine?’
She made herself his period from the get-go.
She gave that energy into him and because he felt that he started giving more and more into her.
He started immediately moving himself down the direction of instead of just dating this chick for a while, I’m going to move towards eventually asking her to marry me.
I’m going to move her into the spot where she hopefully looks at my life and life we’re building together as something she wants to have permanently.
Ladies don’t play the hot and cold game, that’s awesome if you’re in grade school whatever when you’re actually starting to date a guy, let him know how you feel about him, show him how you feel about him.
Let him know you want him and you want to be with him and spend time with him.
Don’t cross the line into being controlling but for God’s sakes love bomb him.
You can’t love bomb a guy, we can love bomb you because he gets needy and shows you a sign of us actually not having the abundant lifestyle and life and mindset that you truly thought we did.
But you can’t love bomb guy.
The more you give him energy and attention, the more you let him know you want to build something with him, the more he’s going to want to build something with you, because he sees you as that one that is truly committed and loyal to him and his life.
And building something incredible with him.
The woman who’s forsaken all the other options in her life no matter how beautiful or amazing she is to be with me, and that is powerful that is incredibly powerful.
That is like a superpower y’all ladies have in a relationship that can instantly bring a man from wanting something fun, into wanting something deeper and more permanent.
So, ladies lean into that femininity, lean into that passion you guys have.
Forget about what other people tell you about pull back make him come chase you, mak ehim come after you.
Give him yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually let him see that you’re willing to do that and I promise you he’s going to start giving himself more to you and more and moving towards the direction of building something appreciative, permanent.
And the final one is simply being entitled, or unappreciative.
I can’t tell you as a man what it does for me mentally, emotionally, spiritually when my wife comes up to me, or back when she was just my fiance, or my girlfriend and says something along the lines of, ‘I truly appreciate how much you do, blah blah blah.’
Or, ‘I truly respect or I love the way you do this, or I love this part about you.
A little appreciation, ‘I love the fact that you give to our relationship, I like whatever that you did this week for me and I didn’t have to.’
Appreciation for a man does something very deep.
When it comes from our woman it’s a sign of deep-seated respect and of caring for us, and of caring for the things that we do for her.
You see guys, regardless of what the whole modern community might want to say, we have it mentally within us, it’s a biologically and instinctual drive to provide and protect and be there for our woman.
And to give her from us, to give her our energy in our life and our providership.
And he wants to and when we hear that you appreciate that, it fills us up.
It’s like, it’s like winning a big race and getting the trophy at the end.
It’s the whole reason we do it.
We give to our woman not because we simply want her sexually, not because we simply want her to have some kids, but we want to see her being happy, we want to see her taking whatever we’ve given her, be it energy or money or some gift or an experience, and we want to see her appreciating that.
And when we do see her appreciate that, it makes us want to double down and do more of whatever that is, be better for whatever kind of guy we’ve been being.
It’s going to make us want to drive ourselves to be a better lover and a better boyfriend, or a better husband, because we’re being reciprocated for our actions.
If he goes out and gives you some amazing trip to whatever, a cruise or whatever to wherever, he doesn’t want you do to get him lucky a few times just to make the deal even.
He wants to see that it affected you inside somehow.
He wants to see that the things he’s given you, including just his time and his energy more than anything else, or his career that he’s putting out to provide for you and your family.
He wants to see that you appreciate that and that you look at that at the efforts that he’s given to you and truly actually acknowledge and understand them.
And once he does see that, you instantly go from being just another girlfriend that he’s had that he’s been having fun with, to being the kind of woman that he sees building something real with, that he can see building a marriage with, that he can see having something permanent with.
Because you’re not just living your life with him, you’re not ever just using him for what he’s given to you.
You’re not just taking from him, you’re giving him the most important thing that he wants from you, which is your heart, your appreciation for whatever he’s given you.
Ladies, that’s the most important thing.
That’s what all these stupid dating gurus and relationship coaches and feminists or whatever get wrong most of all.
It’s the fact that guys don’t care half as much about your body as they do about getting your emotions and your heart.
And if you can do that if, you can lead with that instead of your body, I promise you, you move into relationship territory immediately with the guy you’re with.
You can find our latest articles below:
-
How the Presidential Election is Affecting Relationships
The election is just ramping up and with events like the attempted assassination, this election is affecting relationships like never before.
-
What to Do When Your Partner is Gaslighting in the Relationship
Gaslighting can make your relationship fall apart and bring your mental health with it. Here’s how to stop it before it starts.
-
How Men Gaslight Women in a Relationship
Gaslighting is something that can turn a good relationship into a living nightmare. Here’s how to recognize when it happens and what to do.
-
How Women Gaslight Men in a Relationship
Men, you need to be able to recognize when you are being gaslit by your woman. Here’s how and what to do about it to keep you safe and legal.
-
What is Gaslighting in a Relationship?
Gaslighting can turn a good relationship into a living hell, here’s what it is, and how to deal with it before the problems start.
-
Why Women Need to Start Approaching Men
Ladies you need to start approaching men and it is absolutely the #1 fastest way to catch that high quality man of your dreams.